Curse of the e-Witch

At an OU tutorial early this year, our tutor tasked us with writing a poem: either a spell, a blessing or a curse.

At that tutorial, I went for the blessing option (mistake: it turned me into a human tap) but, a while ago, I decided to have a go at a curse. Here it is:

Curse of the e-Witch

By the sun and by the moon

By this life that ends too soon

I’ll make your wifi go awry

I’ll make your iPad crash and die

I’ll make your twitter feed blank white

I’ll make your skinny jeans too tight

I’ll make your new Sky Plus box fail

I’ll make your fake-tanned shoulders pale

By the sun and by the moon

This life, you know, it ends too soon.